The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
