Your mouth is God's brothel.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
