just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
