shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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