take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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