Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
