I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
