currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize