I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
