I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
