I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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