He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm both gender and math confused
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
