If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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