I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
