honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
