Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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