Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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