I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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