My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
