If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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