i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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