I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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