He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Everclear isn't food dammit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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