i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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