doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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