just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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