Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
