she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
