WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
