My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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