My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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