hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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