the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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