I just saw a hot homeless man
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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