Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His hands were made for my vagina.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
