absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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