My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
