note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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