Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
