just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
as a side note pls kill me
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