The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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