Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
