I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
