What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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