This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
