Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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