i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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