Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
