Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
