i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
