Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
