I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
