You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
