he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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