just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize