if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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