im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
