She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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