I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
where am i from again
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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