i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
