i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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