I cockslap morals
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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