you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
