nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize