it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
