i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
